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October 15, 2007 (Monday)
Post-session
Right-hander. Bigger and not crowded. I had a blast.
But the reason I had so much fun was that I was doing very well. Felt great on my board and everything was working, meaning, I wasn't stumbling or making mistakes. Been in a slump of late, which started last Monday and lasted all the way until yesterday. But today I was able to break through it.
It's weird because it just happened, know what I mean? From my first ride, my board came alive and I simply started surfing well. Where was all that last week?
When I'm in a funk, I tend to blame my equipment. That's what seems to be the problem--that I'm struggling against my board. But really, it's me, my own self. I am conflicted, but my board can't be blamed (obviously!).
It's a frustration. It's a lack of creative certainty. It's an absence of sureness, of not knowing what to do. But when I say "know," I don't mean a process of rational understanding or series of intellectual judgments. Rather, it's the unconscious expression of an image, of a feeling, an instinct, through action. It's deliberate, but it doesn't flow from conscious decision. Yeah, doesn't make any sense. Can't describe it any other way.
Posted at 11:22 PM